Don't Mess with Israel...Or Else.

The Good Lord commenced to bellerin’ out from heaven; you could hear his voice all over the place. -Psalm 18:13  

That's my girl there and I'm a man who cares and this might be all for you. -Lynyrd Skynyrd

God cares about Israel. So we ort to care about Israel. God says that folks will be blessed that cares for Israel....and he also says that folks will be cursed that don't. I reckon it's God's way of protectin' his people.  When yer the chosen people, folks is always jealous and out to git ye. And the devil too! It's been this way since time immemorial. 

These folks has been hounded all over the planet. Killed and murdered. Put in ovens. Put in chains...and they cain't even have their own itty bitty country without idjits wantin' to divide it up and conquer it. Stupid. It's straight from the devil and whoever is in on it is doin' the devil's work. The Good Book says to bless Israel. That ain't rocket science.

God can be a vicious warrior. Are you vicious in protectin' yer family? If'n ye ain't, ye ain't no good. What if some ole bad men come to git yer little girl and roughed her up and had their way with her? Would ye git mad? Do ya think God is much diff'ernt? I heard somebody say "God don't Kill." That's crazy. God kills sometimes. He killed 185,000 Syrian warriors in one night to protect Israel durin' the days of Ole King Hezekiah. (See 2 Kings 19:35)

Folks it's the same God it's always been. He'll go to war fer Israel. The best way I ever heard it put was this here: "Aslan is Good. He is not tame, but he is Good." We can know that God is good. Always. But we cain't know that God ain't gonna up and kill a bunch a folks fer messin' with Israel. It's happened before and He's the exact same God He has always been. It could happen again....especially in this day and age when the whole world is against Israel.

  

Is Hell fer Real?

You gotta enter God's kingdom through a very small door. They's a eight lane broadway to hell, though, and it's bumper to bumper all the way. -Matthew 7:13

I'm on the highway to hell. -ACDC

I'm here to tell y'all the truth, best as I know it. You don't gotta worry that this is a bunch a religious mumbo jumbo. I hate religion. Religion has done more to cause destruction on this planet (especially now) than anythang I could ever imagine. It's just a load of crap. Just a bunch of nuts tryin' to impress God and man with some stuff they done. Or tryin' to appease an angry God. It's so dang misled.

With all that said, let me tell ya, apparently hell is a very real thang. King Jesus talked about it a lot. Folks don't like to think about it, but it's gonna be very real and very unpleasant. Ever'body should think about it, on account a you don't wanna go there. Now, I've heard lot's a sermons in my lifetime about how hell and hot it is and how long it lasts.  Let's just suffice it to say, it's gonna be real bad and last a lot longer than anybody would want it to, and may involve extended viewin's of The Star Wars sequels.

What I find interestin' about this verse up yonder is that it says exactly the opposite of what conventional wisdom will tell ya. See, ya gotta be kindly a rock and roll rebel to be a real Christian. Conventional "wisdom" will say they's all these many ways to heaven and ever'body is gonna go and it's gonna be wunnerful and full of fat free foods. That ain't what the Good Book says. Its says exactly the opposite. It says there's one way and ain't many folks gonna find it. That one way is King Jesus. Some times you gotta be a rock and roll rebel and go the opposite way a ever'body else.

Stevie Rey is the arthur of The Hillbilly Bible.

Baptists, Catholics, Methodists, and other Heatherns Goin' to Hell

Get outta here, y'all heatherns, 

I never knowed ye! -Matthew 7:23

That's me in the corner, That's me in the spotlight, Losing My Religion -R.E.M

Some of the worst heatherns I ever knowed I met in church or preacher school. I mean the kind that killed King Jesus, the kind that would kill him again today for not bein' religious enough. Those kinds is in love with religion on account of it makes 'em feel superior. Them's the kind that King Jesus is gonna say, "Get outta here, I never knowed ye!" They're heatherns, just another breed...the religious breed...the worst one. 

We got religious heatherns blowin' babies up in the name a God these days. They's gonna bust hell open like Gene Simmons demon boots!  The world don't need not even one more religious nut. NOT ONE! But I've seen 'em in all flavors...Baptists, Catholics, Methodists. Folks that got religion but never got King Jesus. 

See, the Good Book says ye gotta be born again. King Jesus said that. That just means ye come to a point where ye said, "Lord I'm a sinner and I need ye. Come on into my life and help me clean this mess up. I cain't do it myself. I believe ye died fer me. Now come on up in here." That's all there is to it. But some a these folk never done that. They'll tell ye, "I ain't no sinner. I been a Christian all my life." PFFFFFFFT...tell it to the next yo-yo. Yer a dang heathern just like the rest of us. My momma did'n raise no fool. 

See, we have a problem with this thing of admittin' we're sinners that needs King Jesus. That just stings fer some reason, but it's the truth and it's the only way anybody is gittin' to heaven. Baptists included. You gotta lose yer religion to git King Jesus.

Stevie Rey is the arthur of The Hillbilly Bible.

Is God a Racist?

Fer y'all is a folk that's special to the Lord, yer God. The Lord, yer God has done picked y'all out of all the folks on the face of the earth to be his folks, his very own keepsake, near and dear to his heart. -Deuteronomy 7:6, The Hillbilly Bible 

You think you're cooler than me. -Mike Posner

I wonder if y'all think that God is a racist on account a He has a chosen people? He ain't. Here's why. It's true that the Lord has a chosen people, the Jews, Israel. That's always gonna be the case and that ain't never gonna change. God don't lie, ner change, ner break his promises like you and I do. Israel will always be the chosen people. But here's what he did to amend the contract. He sent King Jesus so anybody can become a Jew!!! 

Highfalutin theologian types calls it bein' "grafted in"...it don't mean nuthin' but ever'body can git in on the deal now. Now, used to be you had to keep this big ole long list a rules to be in good with God and to be one a his special chosen folks. He give these laws to the Jews...the Ten Commandments and sech. The Law. All that Old Testament "thall shall not lay with a poodle ner git yer testicles crushed" business. Well, that did'n turn out too good. All the laws was fine and dandy and fer folks own protection from the Lord. They was good rules. Folks ort not to lay with poodles. (Ye'd think that would be common sense, but these days I wonder.)

Anyhow, they was good rules. There was just one problem. We was bad folks. Jews could'n keep the rules. So God just up and sent King Jesus to keep all the rules for us, then all we gotta do is believe on Jesus and we're good with God. That's called The Gospel. It just means good news. So, now anybody in the world can be a Jew and git in on bein' God's chosen folks!!  His pride and joy! That IS Good News!  God Ain't No Racist!

What about the Jews? Well they's still God's chosen folk, but they ain't gittin' in on this business by keepin' no dang Law!  They gotta believe in their own King!  King Jesus!....and I spec' they will by and by. So, to sum up, God ain't no racist. Ever'body is invited to the party....and ye ort not to lay with the family dawg. 

Stevie Rey is arthur of The Hillbilly Bible. 

How to Surive This Life Without Goin' Crazy and Shootin' Up The Town

On account a God ain't done give us a spirit a fear, but one a power, 

and a love, and a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7  

I shot the Sheriff. -Bob Marley

 
We need a inoculation against goin' crazy these days. Folks is snappin' left and right. Did ya ever wished we had a shot ye could take to keep ye from goin' plumb nutty and shootin' up the town! It's a little scary all the folks that's up and goin' crazy these days! 

Well I'm here to tell ya that there is an shot ye can take to keep ye from goin' crazy. It's called King Jesus. When a body asks Jesus to come into his life, ye git his Spirit too, livin' on the inside. It calms ye. Speaks to ye. Tells ye ever'thang is gonna be ok.  We need that now more than ever. 

Jesus is real, folks. I know ye don't wanna become no dead burned Christian and have all yer friends laugh and point, but that's the price ye pay in this ole world, on account of the world belongs to ole Slewfoot and he's always attackin' us and makin' folks think badly of us...when we're the only one's that tryin' to do right! Go figure. 

I know what it's like to not be a Christian, and I know what it's like to be one, and I'd rather be one. No matter what kinda hell the Devil puts me through here, I know I'm on my way to heaven....and I also know I ain't goin' plumb nutty and shootin' up Memphis!


Stevie Rey is the mostly sane Author of The Hillbilly Bible series.

Star Wars, Trump's Hair, and The Last Days

They's gonna be race wars, and countries is gonna fight one another. They's gonna be earthquakes all over the place and folks goin' hungry. This here is how the birth pains start. -Mark 13:9

It's the end of the world as we know it. -R.E.M

Things is gittin' crazy. Last night I saw where they done erected a statue of ole Slewfoot and commenced to worshippin' it. Right here in the good ole US of A! What in TARNATION!!!!???  This is all gettin' stranger than Trump's hair. Dawgs and cats livin' together...TOTAL CHAOS!  I been studyin' Bible Prophecy fer 20 years I think we're here y'all....that last days.

But you know, the end of the kindly gits a bad wrap, y'all. It ain't really the end. It's the beginnin'. It's the end a this world....and look here, fer some folks it cain't end quick enough. Some folks,  a lotta folk, ain't had nuthin' but pain in this ole world and then they come out with three really bad Star Wars sequels and it just made life that much more hellicious...so some folks is ready fer the end!

But that's the point. It ain't really the end of the world. It's the end of the age. And let me tell ya, sumpin' great is a comin'. King Jesus is a comin' and bringin' with him the coolest world since Xander in Guardians of the Galaxy, but much cooler.  I don't want y'all to miss it. 

How do I git there, ya ask? Well, just put yer faith and yer trust in King Jesus. Admit yer a sinner accordin' to the Good Book(that's hard I know) and ask him to come into yer heart and fergive ye. I know some of y'all are thinkin'....AND BECOME ONE A THEM DANG CHRISTIANS!!!  NEVER! I know, I know. I did'n like 'em much either before I become one. But I started to like King Jesus when I found out about him. 

Here's this dude that loves me no matter what I done done. And he's gonna be with me ferever and he'll live in my heart and help me through this ole crummy life and then I git to go to heaven to boot? I liked him...so I just up and become one them there Christians one day. I admitted I was a sinner and all that. And you know what, King Jesus was even better than they said. And he ain't never left me. He's fergiven me fer all manner of dumbnuttery even after I become a Christian...and He's been with me through the hard times...even the Star Wars sequels. 

Stevie Rey is a writer, humorist, and Rockstar Wannabe. The Author of The Hillbilly Bible Series.

Is Nose Hairs a Sin?

There ain't none righteous, nary a one. (Psalm 14:3, The Hillbilly Bible Series)

I see a lotta folks these days talkin' 'bout what is a sin and what ain't a sin. My thinkin' is it's a little late in the game to be splittin' hairs. Is homer-sexuality a sin?  Is marital high infidelity a sin? Is nose hairs a sin? Folks Time is short. We're in the fourth quarter a the ball game. I reckon the point I wanna make is what diff'ernce does it make? We all done sinned and we all need us a savior.

We need to know that we're loved unconditional like and we need to know that God loves us that way. We need that. But in order to git it, we gotta admit we need it. And therein lies the problem...human pride. We don't like that word "sinner".  You don't hear it much no more, but let me tell ye, there's somethin' dang wrong with the world and I reckon it's the fact that we got us a problem and that problem is that we're jacked up. We sin. We mess up. Ain't nobody perfect, that's all in the world that means.

Now, I know all about sin. I done it a time or two. You might say I'm a expert on sinnin'. I'm selfish. I done hurt folks. Sometimes I'm lazy. Sometimes I look at gals like they was cheeseburgers and I had'n et in a month a Sundays. That's me.  Now, what hope has a fella like me got a makin' it to heaven?  None...nada...zilch...zero.

I gotta have somebody to speak up fer me. A fella cain't pull himself up by the bootstraps when he done messed up so bad they took his boots!  I need King Jesus....and if'n yer honest with yerself, you might find you do too.

Stevie Rey is the author of The Hillbilly Bible and a sinner saved by Grace.