You can take this here sayin' to the bank and they'll cash it, sho nuff! King Jesus come up in this here ole world to save sinners and yer lookin' at the head honcho!
-1 Timothy 1:15, The Hillbilly Bible
I reckon I know what it feels like to be a big, fat ole sinner y'all. Sometimes I think that's why God chose me to write The Hillbilly Bible, on account of He was lookin' fer the King sinner...the head honcho, so's I might have some pull with the rest a the lesser sinners and n'er do wells. Well, that's me. That there Apostle Paul held the world record, but I just reckon I might a done broke it over the years. It ain't nuthin' to brag about, just keepin' it real, y'all.
But the good news...the great news is that God has done saved me! I'm on my way to heaven! I know they's folks out there that thinks they's done outsinned God's grace, but you ain't done it neither. They's folks out there that thinks "God ain't never gonna fergive me.I'm just a low down dirty sinner on his way to hell. The devil owns me and that's just the way it is. I'm beyond help." ....That's Hawgwarsh!!!!
That's the devil talkin' to ye, and it's just a load a malarkey....you gotta say to the Devil "SHET YO MOUF!!" You gotta put up a lil fight, in Jesus name and he'll just up and runoft. He don't got no claim on ye. King Jesus can be yers and you can be his....just in time fer Valentines Day!
Look here, y'all. If King Jesus took me in, he'll take y'all in too. I done stuff in my life that'd make yer momma turn all diff'ernt shades a red! But I done been warshed clean as clorox! And I keep gittin' warshed day by day, on account of I stay close to King Jesus! Now, some ole religious nut says....
THAT AIN'T FAIR!!! You mean that scoundrel Stevie Rey gits to go to heaven!!!!
Yup...Hee, hee. To that I answer, no it ain't fair. It's grace. Grace ain't "fair", and "fair" ain't Grace. If'n ye want fair, go ride the tilt-a-whirl. If'n ye want, Grace, git you some a this King Jesus.
Stevie Rey is a writer, humorist, rockstar wannabe, and author of The Hillbilly Bible. He resides in Memphis, Tennessee.
