ISIS is Kindly Sissified and King Jesus is A Comin'

But mark my words: The last days is gonna be horrible times.  Folks is gonna love money and themselves and not much else, braggin' all the time, et up with pride, lewd, crude, potty mouthed blasphemers, mean and cruel to ma and pa, not thankful fer nuthin', godless. They's gonna lose their basic humanity, cain't git along with nobody, ain't never got nuthin' good to say about nobody, ain't got no self control, no mercy, don't look up to good folks, betrayin' their friends, high falutin' narcissists, doin' whatever feels good instead of seekin' the Good Lord...tryin' to look good on the outside, but not really interested in bein' transformed from the inside out by the power of God. Treat 'em like they got the plague. -2 Timothy 3:1-5

Don't worry, baby. Everything will turn out alright. -The Beach Boys

I ain't even sure I wanna write this blog anymore. I look too much like the feller up yonder!!! ^. Sweet Lord Jesus hep me. Do you realize that whole passage ain't about heatherns at all!!!???...it's about church folk!!!  What in tarnation!!!??? Mercy. If any heatherns is readin' this right now. I wanna say I'm sorry...not just fer me, fer the whole church. Boy, oh boy, we got some work to do. We got to make ourselves humble, and admit we're too much like that feller there ^. Sweet Lord Jesus hep us to do better. Hep us be more like you.

The end of the world is a comin' y'all. If the good folks is actin' like heatherns and the heatherns is actin' like....well heatherns, it's time fer King Jesus to come back. We got that there ISIS runnin' round blowin' stuff up and shootin' folks like the nincompoops they are. ISIS is the poster children fer how religion is just a bunch a mess. So is the feller up yonder ^. When I was growin' up ISIS used to wear skirts and be on Saturday mornin' cartoons....I reckon they's still kindly sissified...what with bein' cowards and all and blowin' up innocent folk. Maybe they should wear skirts...but I digress.

I wanted to say somethin' to y'all. These times is scary. Gosh almighty. I don't want you to live life scared. Make yer peace with God through King Jesus. Ask him to fergive ye and come into yer heart and save ye from all this mess. Please. You'll have Peace like a River like the song says. There ain't much time left. But don't live life scared. That's what them sissy's ISIS want. It's gonna be ok. The wrath of God is comin'. Jesus is comin'. He's gonna take care of ever'thang. God's wrath has gotta come to wake folks up. He's been real patient fer a real long time. Folks has been pokin' the bear fer decades...the bear just lifted an eyebrow. uh, oh.

Stevie Rey is a heathern in recovery. He wrote The Hillbilly Bible. He don't know why he's speakin' about himself in the third person...it's kindly highfalutin.  :-)

Why I Need King Jesus More than the New Star Wars

Like a little ole dawgy pants fer the water bowl, 

that 's how much I need ye, Oh Lord. 

-King David, Psalm 42:1

I need love, love, ou, to ease my mind. -Phil Collins

I can't get no satisfaction. -The Rolling Stones

I need the Lord. Here's why. All human beans need love, y'all. Unconditional love. We need it. We crave it. Bad. Sometimes momma n'em give it to us. Sometimes not. Sometimes we try to git it from the family dawg. He gives it purdy good, but it don't satisfy. We need it right down in our hearts...boy how we need it. If'n we ain't got it, we'll try to git some love from donuts and hookers, way may try to git some love from whiskey or meth. But them thangs ain't got no love that satisfies.

They's also the problem that deep down we know we ain't all that lovable. We done looked at the porn hub again last night. And give the fanger to the feller that cut us off in traffic. We swindled some folks and stole from the office and cheated on our taxes. We ain't as bad as ISIS shootin' up the town and sech, but we ain't no Mother Theresa neither. We know we don't really deserve that kinda unconditional love so much. We know. We may not wanna admit it, but we know. 

That's where King Jesus comes in. He paid the price fer when we had hookers and lied and cheated and stole stuff. I don't know why God done it that way. I guess he done it cuz he wanted to. Ye ever loved somebody so much that ye wanted to prove it? Ye wanted to take a bullet fer 'em or sumpin'. King Jesus loves us that way. God loves us that way. At the end a the day, I don't rightly know why God chose to do it this way. It's kindly a mystery...like that there Trans Pacific Partnership. I do know I need King Jesus more than the new Star Wars...and I need that pretty bad.


Stevie Rey is the Arthur of The Hillbilly Bible, and a bone-if-I'd Memphis Rockstar Wannabe. 

I Wonder What Makes God Mad

On account a the curtain has done rose on "the wrath a God show" all the way from heaven agin' all kinda godlessness and heathern actin' ways of folks that don't want the truth to come out about their heathern ways. (Romans 1:18)

 

If the darkness reveals the end of days. I'll follow you til there's no more hell to pay.  -Stryper

 

Do y'all reckon God ever gits mad? I wonder what would make God mad? What happens when God git's mad? Does it come up a storm? A big storm? Does it come a earthquake? How does God's anger manifest in this here world...since he's a Spirit and all? 

Does the plight a the homeless folk make God mad? Does the way we done messed up this here world with pollution make God mad? Does mean folks make God mad? Does that there Monsanto make God mad? If so he's probably pretty mad. Does war make God mad? If so he's probably pretty dang mad.

Does the middle east situation make God mad? If so he's probably pretty dang mad. Does corrupt politicians make God mad? If so, he's probably pretty dang mad. Does income inequality and racism meanness make God mad? When do ya think God will say...Enough!!!

What is the worst injustice you could think of? Murder? Done to the person that deserves it least?...the innocent? Who is innocent? Is little babies in the womb innocent? They ain't come out to do no sinnin' yet, so I reckon they are more innocent than the rest of us. I wonder if killin' little babies would make God mad? I wonder how mad it would make him? Just thinkin' out loud y'all. 

Stevie Rey is the arthur of The Hillbilly Bible.

Yep, that's right, I'm The King....of Sinners

This here sayin' is true blue and y'all can take it to the bank: King Jesus come into the world to save sinners....and yer lookin' at the worst one there ever was. -1 Timothy 1:15

Then I scratched the surface
In the mouth of hell
Running out of service
In the blood I fell "Then I scratched the surface

In mouth of hell

Out of Service

In the Blood I fell"

-Green Day

See The Light

Who in their right mind would wanna go to hell?  It don't seem like much fun to me. Pitch forks pokin' ye in the hind end and sech. Burnin' sensations round yer head and shoulders. Never endin' reruns of Star Wars: Attack of The Clones. It jes don't seem like much fun to me. What if all this Bible stuff is real? What if the kooky Christians is right? What if? What if it is the last days? It sure seems like the whole world has done gone nutso!

That there Apostle Paul said he was the worst a sinners, but Paul did'n know me. Trust me, I am the most jacked up person ye ever knowed. The ONLY reason I'm even breathin' is by the grace a God.  I'm just a selfish sinner y'all. Lord have mercy how I have jacked up my life. By all accounts I ort to have to burn in hell like a dang marshmeller s'more....but I ain't. My sins done been paid fer by King 

Jesus. I'm gonna walk on streets a pure gold and reign with King Jesus in the Kingdom that's comin'! 

How is that even possible!!!???  How could a jacked up dude like me make it to heaven!!!??? It just ain't fair! It just ain't fittin'!!!  No it ain't fair, it's grace. Grace ain't fair and fair ain't grace. If'n ye want fair go ride the tilt-a-whirl. If'n ye want grace go to the cross a Jesus.  

Somebody says, Stevie Rey I ain't gonna become no dang Christian! I don't even like Christians! Heh, heh....I didn't like 'em neither.  It's amazin' the things that Jesus can do to yer heart. It's just amazin'....I hope you'll give him a shot. There ain't much time left. 

Stevie Rey is the arthur of The Hillbilly Bible. 

The End of The World...It Ain't the End of The world Y'all

Y'all ain't never seen ner heard of nuthin', and ain't nobody ever even imagined in their noggin' what God has been gittin' ready for folks that love him.  -1 Corinthians 2:9

People get ready, there's a train a comin'. -Curtis Mayfield

Lately I been feelin' like it's the end a world. Religious heatherns in funny hats tryin' to rule the world and scoopin' up the praise that's due only to King Jesus, politicians lyin' and lyin' and then lyin' some more, dogs and cats livin' together, that kinda thing. It's enough to make ya wanna pour ye a bubble bath and snort it...just to escape fer a spell. 

But folks the End a The world ain't really the end a the world. It's the beginnin' of heaven. Yeah, it's gonna git bad before King Jesus comes back, but it ain't gonna last all that long and it's all because the heartherns has got to have the mess shook out of 'em to wake up. And a lot of 'em will. They's gonna be a great harvest and that's what it's all about. Somebody said pain is God's megaphone and he'll send as much as it takes to git yer attention because he loves ya. 

God ain't a man. He don't think like a man.  He does things we cain't git our heads around, things that may seem cruel or mean in our minds, but we gotta trust that it's fer the greater good. It is always fer the greater good. In the case a The Great Tribulation it's to wake folks up so's they trust King Jesus and make it to heaven. The Good Book says that we ain't never heard ner seen ner even imagined what God has been preparin' fer us. 

Think of all the great worlds that have been imagined in the mind a man. All the great sci-fi that has been written. Lord of The Rings, Star Wars, Star Trek, Narnia...now God says heaven is gonna be better than all them cool places in that there sci-fi. It is truly gonna be amazin'. I don't want none of y'all to miss it. Somebody says "I cain't be a Christian! I don't even like Christians"...hee hee...I didn't either. To me they all seemed like a bunch a brain warshed hypocrites...BUT I liked this Jesus feller. So I just took it one step at a time. 

Now, these days God put love in my heart fer Christians (real ones)...on account a they are my brothers and sisters and big fat sinners like me. All one big messy family, tryin' to git through this ole world and home to heaven with King Jesus. Don't you wanna be there?

Hearin' Voices

My little ole sheep hear me when I call, I know who they are, 

and they foller after me. (John 10:27)

I hear you calling, voices are here again. -Godsmack

Did ye ever hear them there voices? I did. Here's what they was a tellin' me. "You ain't no good."...."You cain't do it"...."You'll never amount to nuthin'"...."Why don't you just end it all." ....that was the devil talkin' to me. I reckon he talks to lot's of folks these days.

But then one day I just up and become a Christian. Lot's of folks hates me now fer no good reason on account of it. I reckon King Jesus said that was how it was a gonna go. It don't matter none, though!! On account of I don't hear no voices, no more....I heared a new one onced King Jesus come into my heart. He say's wunnerful stuff to me..."I love you"...."You can do this, Stevie Rey" ...."I believe in you, Stevie Rey"....I gotta tell ye, it was worth to have all these folks hatin' on me and ridiculin' me! I don't even care long as I got this wunnerful King Jesus in me, helpin' me along the way!

I know y'all may hear some voices too. Some of 'em say horrible stuff to ye. I know. I been there. I know what the devil is like. He ain't no good. I want ye to come on to King Jesus with me. I'm one voice leadin' y'all to the King. Come on with me and you'll hear his voice too. I reckon we ain't got long, so don't take too long to make up yer mind.

Love and Hugs from Memphis,
Stevie Rey

Stevie Rey is the arthur of The Hillbilly Bible

Don't Mess with Israel...Or Else.

The Good Lord commenced to bellerin’ out from heaven; you could hear his voice all over the place. -Psalm 18:13  

That's my girl there and I'm a man who cares and this might be all for you. -Lynyrd Skynyrd

God cares about Israel. So we ort to care about Israel. God says that folks will be blessed that cares for Israel....and he also says that folks will be cursed that don't. I reckon it's God's way of protectin' his people.  When yer the chosen people, folks is always jealous and out to git ye. And the devil too! It's been this way since time immemorial. 

These folks has been hounded all over the planet. Killed and murdered. Put in ovens. Put in chains...and they cain't even have their own itty bitty country without idjits wantin' to divide it up and conquer it. Stupid. It's straight from the devil and whoever is in on it is doin' the devil's work. The Good Book says to bless Israel. That ain't rocket science.

God can be a vicious warrior. Are you vicious in protectin' yer family? If'n ye ain't, ye ain't no good. What if some ole bad men come to git yer little girl and roughed her up and had their way with her? Would ye git mad? Do ya think God is much diff'ernt? I heard somebody say "God don't Kill." That's crazy. God kills sometimes. He killed 185,000 Syrian warriors in one night to protect Israel durin' the days of Ole King Hezekiah. (See 2 Kings 19:35)

Folks it's the same God it's always been. He'll go to war fer Israel. The best way I ever heard it put was this here: "Aslan is Good. He is not tame, but he is Good." We can know that God is good. Always. But we cain't know that God ain't gonna up and kill a bunch a folks fer messin' with Israel. It's happened before and He's the exact same God He has always been. It could happen again....especially in this day and age when the whole world is against Israel.

  

Is Hell fer Real?

You gotta enter God's kingdom through a very small door. They's a eight lane broadway to hell, though, and it's bumper to bumper all the way. -Matthew 7:13

I'm on the highway to hell. -ACDC

I'm here to tell y'all the truth, best as I know it. You don't gotta worry that this is a bunch a religious mumbo jumbo. I hate religion. Religion has done more to cause destruction on this planet (especially now) than anythang I could ever imagine. It's just a load of crap. Just a bunch of nuts tryin' to impress God and man with some stuff they done. Or tryin' to appease an angry God. It's so dang misled.

With all that said, let me tell ya, apparently hell is a very real thang. King Jesus talked about it a lot. Folks don't like to think about it, but it's gonna be very real and very unpleasant. Ever'body should think about it, on account a you don't wanna go there. Now, I've heard lot's a sermons in my lifetime about how hell and hot it is and how long it lasts.  Let's just suffice it to say, it's gonna be real bad and last a lot longer than anybody would want it to, and may involve extended viewin's of The Star Wars sequels.

What I find interestin' about this verse up yonder is that it says exactly the opposite of what conventional wisdom will tell ya. See, ya gotta be kindly a rock and roll rebel to be a real Christian. Conventional "wisdom" will say they's all these many ways to heaven and ever'body is gonna go and it's gonna be wunnerful and full of fat free foods. That ain't what the Good Book says. Its says exactly the opposite. It says there's one way and ain't many folks gonna find it. That one way is King Jesus. Some times you gotta be a rock and roll rebel and go the opposite way a ever'body else.

Stevie Rey is the arthur of The Hillbilly Bible.

Baptists, Catholics, Methodists, and other Heatherns Goin' to Hell

Get outta here, y'all heatherns, 

I never knowed ye! -Matthew 7:23

That's me in the corner, That's me in the spotlight, Losing My Religion -R.E.M

Some of the worst heatherns I ever knowed I met in church or preacher school. I mean the kind that killed King Jesus, the kind that would kill him again today for not bein' religious enough. Those kinds is in love with religion on account of it makes 'em feel superior. Them's the kind that King Jesus is gonna say, "Get outta here, I never knowed ye!" They're heatherns, just another breed...the religious breed...the worst one. 

We got religious heatherns blowin' babies up in the name a God these days. They's gonna bust hell open like Gene Simmons demon boots!  The world don't need not even one more religious nut. NOT ONE! But I've seen 'em in all flavors...Baptists, Catholics, Methodists. Folks that got religion but never got King Jesus. 

See, the Good Book says ye gotta be born again. King Jesus said that. That just means ye come to a point where ye said, "Lord I'm a sinner and I need ye. Come on into my life and help me clean this mess up. I cain't do it myself. I believe ye died fer me. Now come on up in here." That's all there is to it. But some a these folk never done that. They'll tell ye, "I ain't no sinner. I been a Christian all my life." PFFFFFFFT...tell it to the next yo-yo. Yer a dang heathern just like the rest of us. My momma did'n raise no fool. 

See, we have a problem with this thing of admittin' we're sinners that needs King Jesus. That just stings fer some reason, but it's the truth and it's the only way anybody is gittin' to heaven. Baptists included. You gotta lose yer religion to git King Jesus.

Stevie Rey is the arthur of The Hillbilly Bible.

Is God a Racist?

Fer y'all is a folk that's special to the Lord, yer God. The Lord, yer God has done picked y'all out of all the folks on the face of the earth to be his folks, his very own keepsake, near and dear to his heart. -Deuteronomy 7:6, The Hillbilly Bible 

You think you're cooler than me. -Mike Posner

I wonder if y'all think that God is a racist on account a He has a chosen people? He ain't. Here's why. It's true that the Lord has a chosen people, the Jews, Israel. That's always gonna be the case and that ain't never gonna change. God don't lie, ner change, ner break his promises like you and I do. Israel will always be the chosen people. But here's what he did to amend the contract. He sent King Jesus so anybody can become a Jew!!! 

Highfalutin theologian types calls it bein' "grafted in"...it don't mean nuthin' but ever'body can git in on the deal now. Now, used to be you had to keep this big ole long list a rules to be in good with God and to be one a his special chosen folks. He give these laws to the Jews...the Ten Commandments and sech. The Law. All that Old Testament "thall shall not lay with a poodle ner git yer testicles crushed" business. Well, that did'n turn out too good. All the laws was fine and dandy and fer folks own protection from the Lord. They was good rules. Folks ort not to lay with poodles. (Ye'd think that would be common sense, but these days I wonder.)

Anyhow, they was good rules. There was just one problem. We was bad folks. Jews could'n keep the rules. So God just up and sent King Jesus to keep all the rules for us, then all we gotta do is believe on Jesus and we're good with God. That's called The Gospel. It just means good news. So, now anybody in the world can be a Jew and git in on bein' God's chosen folks!!  His pride and joy! That IS Good News!  God Ain't No Racist!

What about the Jews? Well they's still God's chosen folk, but they ain't gittin' in on this business by keepin' no dang Law!  They gotta believe in their own King!  King Jesus!....and I spec' they will by and by. So, to sum up, God ain't no racist. Ever'body is invited to the party....and ye ort not to lay with the family dawg. 

Stevie Rey is arthur of The Hillbilly Bible. 

How to Surive This Life Without Goin' Crazy and Shootin' Up The Town

On account a God ain't done give us a spirit a fear, but one a power, 

and a love, and a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7  

I shot the Sheriff. -Bob Marley

 
We need a inoculation against goin' crazy these days. Folks is snappin' left and right. Did ya ever wished we had a shot ye could take to keep ye from goin' plumb nutty and shootin' up the town! It's a little scary all the folks that's up and goin' crazy these days! 

Well I'm here to tell ya that there is an shot ye can take to keep ye from goin' crazy. It's called King Jesus. When a body asks Jesus to come into his life, ye git his Spirit too, livin' on the inside. It calms ye. Speaks to ye. Tells ye ever'thang is gonna be ok.  We need that now more than ever. 

Jesus is real, folks. I know ye don't wanna become no dead burned Christian and have all yer friends laugh and point, but that's the price ye pay in this ole world, on account of the world belongs to ole Slewfoot and he's always attackin' us and makin' folks think badly of us...when we're the only one's that tryin' to do right! Go figure. 

I know what it's like to not be a Christian, and I know what it's like to be one, and I'd rather be one. No matter what kinda hell the Devil puts me through here, I know I'm on my way to heaven....and I also know I ain't goin' plumb nutty and shootin' up Memphis!


Stevie Rey is the mostly sane Author of The Hillbilly Bible series.

Star Wars, Trump's Hair, and The Last Days

They's gonna be race wars, and countries is gonna fight one another. They's gonna be earthquakes all over the place and folks goin' hungry. This here is how the birth pains start. -Mark 13:9

It's the end of the world as we know it. -R.E.M

Things is gittin' crazy. Last night I saw where they done erected a statue of ole Slewfoot and commenced to worshippin' it. Right here in the good ole US of A! What in TARNATION!!!!???  This is all gettin' stranger than Trump's hair. Dawgs and cats livin' together...TOTAL CHAOS!  I been studyin' Bible Prophecy fer 20 years I think we're here y'all....that last days.

But you know, the end of the kindly gits a bad wrap, y'all. It ain't really the end. It's the beginnin'. It's the end a this world....and look here, fer some folks it cain't end quick enough. Some folks,  a lotta folk, ain't had nuthin' but pain in this ole world and then they come out with three really bad Star Wars sequels and it just made life that much more hellicious...so some folks is ready fer the end!

But that's the point. It ain't really the end of the world. It's the end of the age. And let me tell ya, sumpin' great is a comin'. King Jesus is a comin' and bringin' with him the coolest world since Xander in Guardians of the Galaxy, but much cooler.  I don't want y'all to miss it. 

How do I git there, ya ask? Well, just put yer faith and yer trust in King Jesus. Admit yer a sinner accordin' to the Good Book(that's hard I know) and ask him to come into yer heart and fergive ye. I know some of y'all are thinkin'....AND BECOME ONE A THEM DANG CHRISTIANS!!!  NEVER! I know, I know. I did'n like 'em much either before I become one. But I started to like King Jesus when I found out about him. 

Here's this dude that loves me no matter what I done done. And he's gonna be with me ferever and he'll live in my heart and help me through this ole crummy life and then I git to go to heaven to boot? I liked him...so I just up and become one them there Christians one day. I admitted I was a sinner and all that. And you know what, King Jesus was even better than they said. And he ain't never left me. He's fergiven me fer all manner of dumbnuttery even after I become a Christian...and He's been with me through the hard times...even the Star Wars sequels. 

Stevie Rey is a writer, humorist, and Rockstar Wannabe. The Author of The Hillbilly Bible Series.