Baptists, Catholics, Methodists, and other Heatherns Goin' to Hell

Get outta here, y'all heatherns, 

I never knowed ye! -Matthew 7:23

That's me in the corner, That's me in the spotlight, Losing My Religion -R.E.M

Some of the worst heatherns I ever knowed I met in church or preacher school. I mean the kind that killed King Jesus, the kind that would kill him again today for not bein' religious enough. Those kinds is in love with religion on account of it makes 'em feel superior. Them's the kind that King Jesus is gonna say, "Get outta here, I never knowed ye!" They're heatherns, just another breed...the religious breed...the worst one. 

We got religious heatherns blowin' babies up in the name a God these days. They's gonna bust hell open like Gene Simmons demon boots!  The world don't need not even one more religious nut. NOT ONE! But I've seen 'em in all flavors...Baptists, Catholics, Methodists. Folks that got religion but never got King Jesus. 

See, the Good Book says ye gotta be born again. King Jesus said that. That just means ye come to a point where ye said, "Lord I'm a sinner and I need ye. Come on into my life and help me clean this mess up. I cain't do it myself. I believe ye died fer me. Now come on up in here." That's all there is to it. But some a these folk never done that. They'll tell ye, "I ain't no sinner. I been a Christian all my life." PFFFFFFFT...tell it to the next yo-yo. Yer a dang heathern just like the rest of us. My momma did'n raise no fool. 

See, we have a problem with this thing of admittin' we're sinners that needs King Jesus. That just stings fer some reason, but it's the truth and it's the only way anybody is gittin' to heaven. Baptists included. You gotta lose yer religion to git King Jesus.

Stevie Rey is the arthur of The Hillbilly Bible.